Paradise Lost
by Burning 'Til There's Dark Blue
Summary: Part 2 of the Project: Antivenom story. It seems like I'm getting into really messed up situations now...but I'm still alive. Alice, however, I'm not so sure about. I have to find her. Sequel to Black Dahlia. A/J. On indefinite hiatus.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, Hollywood Undead, any corporations…I own my iPod. That's pretty much it.**

**Songs for Prologue: Paradise Lost by Hollywood Undead, Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day**

***~*~***

It's starting to seem like I get into really screwed up situations. First off, I've involuntarily become a murderer in the past 3 months. Then there's the fact that I seem to get into more crime than most. But there's not much I can do.

Paradise is one of those places where you think you can never get. But you do. You fight for it. You can always fight; it's instinct. For a long time, I thought the fighting had finally ended, that I could find some peace with Alice. But in the blink of an eye, everything changed. And now, Alice is human, because of a scientist's 'Antivenom'. She lived through.

And in another blink of an eye, she disappeared.

Which could explain why I'm freerunning through downtown, following her scent like a bloodhound. Because I have a new goal to reach.

I have to get her off of the streets in less than 24 hours, or she'll get hurt.

With my luck, we'll both get hurt anyway.

*~*~*

**A/N: And so begins Paradise Lost! I think it's a nice prologue. Don't you?**

**So anyway, review, vote for Adam Lambert…you know the drill.**


	2. Chapter 1: Deathly Quiet

_The first time I saw you, you were chasing cars._

_~Getaway Car – Audioslave~_

_I roll the window down and then begin to breathe in. The darkest country road and the scent of everything from the passenger seat and you are driving me home._

_~Passenger Seat – Death Cab For Cutie~_

_Glaciers melting in the dead of night, and the superstars fall into the Supermassive._

_~Supermassive Black Hole – Muse~_

_*~*~*_

"_In other news, the esteemed toxicologist Dr. M.J. Johannes was found dead outside of his home in Astoria last night, after apparently falling off his balcony. Police later found approximately 28 gallons of the illegal substance, the scientific name of which is Hydroxychloride Carbonitrium, known to civilians as Antivox, was found inside the home, and for unknown reasons contained large amounts of the neurostimulant opium. Antivox is commonly used to neutralize the most poisonous substance in the world, the bacterium _Clostridium Botulism, _but combined with opium or lithium, can cause a sudden growth in the amount of blood cells in a human body, then a severe drop in blood pressure, which can cause clotting, strokes, and heart attacks. In large enough amounts, the combination of Antivox and opium can cause the amount of blood in a person's body to go from 350% the normal amount to 48% the normal amount. It takes 3 milliliters for this to take effect. As to how Dr. Johannes was able to get hold of this, authorities are not sure because it is kept under lock and key by the CDC."_

I pull into the hotel parking lot, trying to ignore the report. Esme's Mazda, which I have decided is more convenient to use than running around everywhere, is probably going to be reported stolen to the police sooner or later. I pull into the parking space as quietly as possible and take the keys out of the ignition. Alice is still in the hotel room, sleeping, which is why I had enough time to go back for the car in the first place.

My footsteps barely make a sound as I walk along the hotel's third floor hallway. The only sounds are the dozens of heartbeats, the breathing, the air conditioner, the buzzing of vending machines, and the faraway sounds of the early morning highway. There is nobody awake in here but me.

I pull the card key out of my pocket and use it to open the door, which beeps once to signal that it is unlocked. Quietly I open the door, slipping in to the room, looking around to make sure nothing has happened. Alice is in the middle of the bed, tangled up in the sheets, restlessly sleeping. I close the door and walk over to her, looking at the clock out of the corner of my eye. 1:17 A.M. Has it only been 28 hours since everything in my life changed for the worse? For Alice, especially?

Alice makes a small sound as I silently slide under the bedsheets myself, pulling the cotton blankets around Alice's thin arms. She sighs and curls up, managing to pull all the blankets around herself.

I would laugh if I could, but my mood is somber and melancholy. There seems to be a fog over the world.

Sighing, I stand up and walk over to the window, which is covered up with very generic green and yellow paisley fabric, and pull back the curtains to look at the nighttime city. There is condensation on the window from the contrast between the room's warmth and the midnight frigidity, and I wipe it off with my arm, causing water droplets to slide down like rain. Buzzing streetlights that cast an orange glow over everything, making the clearly visible black Mazda look as if there is a harvest moon painted on the top, illuminating the hotel parking lot. Across the empty street, two late-night workers occupy a lone McDonald's, the traditional golden arches towering above the tourist trap of a building on their 50-foot sign. A few cars drive past on the interstate, and far off in the distance is the glow of the Astoria skyline. The stars are still managing to make their way through the clouds. I put my hands against the glass, which feels strangely cold to me.

"Mmm…" Alice mumbles in her sleep and I instinctively turn to look at her. She rolls over, and for a brief second, the full moon breaks through the clouds, casting silver beams into the room, causing the shadows to distort, making Alice look more fragile than she already is. I walk over to stand by the bedside, watching her sleep. A strand of Alice's hair falls across her face and I quickly brush it back in place. The angel never has to know what I did, how the man died.

I listen to the sudden humming of the radiator, which fills the room with a loud buzzing and warmth. The stagnant smells that cling to everything in this room swirl around; cologne, toothpaste, sweat, cotton, leather, starch, metallic tastes… How can these room strap so much from the air? I can taste distinct flavors in the air; gasoline, coffee, fabric softener, various other unidentifiable flavors. Hotels are spiderwebs. They catch everything.

Alice's mood suddenly changes and I spin around again to look at her. She grabs the blankets and pulls them to her chin, looking panicked. I wish I controlled her dreams right now. Maybe then she could sleep. I sigh and trace the invisible patterns on the window. A moth flies through the air, fluttering against the window, trying to get inside the invisible barrier. I wince once I remember what the moth reminds me of; that struggle to get to Alice, barricaded by the pain.

The sleeping girl mutters again, talking in her dreams. The clock says 1:32 A.M. Time passes painfully slow right now. Bored and unwilling to wake Alice up, I wander over to the armchair and sit down, picking up a wooden block left in the room by some little kid on vacation, then begin to file it away with my pocketknife, watching it take shape. It's odd that I carry around a pocketknife when I'm indestructible, but it's a habit I picked up when I was human, and I don't plan to change it any time soon.

At 5:06 A.M., I finally put the block of wood, which is now an elaborate pattern of stars, flowers, and wind, back on the table, just as Alice finally groans, stretches, and wakes up. I pretend to be focused on the last details of my Michelangelo-esque wooden sculpture, engraving the spiderwebs to look like they're tangled up in the wind.

"Jasper?" her voice is muffled by the blanket, which she is still half-buried under. I nod, too focused now on the spiderwebs to answer. "What are you doing?"

"Proving that I have no life and really need a new hobby." I reply.

And so ends the deathly quiet.

*~*~*

**A/N: Yeah, so it's spring break down in Florida. Hence the fact that I'm writing like crazy. Anyway, there are a few things I want to clear up.**

**Astoria is a real city in Oregon. I was on a mad search through a 1979 encyclopedia trying to figure out what place was 50 miles away from Portland, since Jasper was standing 25 miles away and he needed to go 25 miles in the **_**other **_**direction. I know nothing about it other than it's name is Astoria and that it's by the Pacific Ocean and Columbia River.**

**Alice, in my mind, looks like Ellen Page. But her eyes look – yet again, in my mind – like Fiona Apple's. Whereas Jasper looks in my mind like Scott Clifton from One Life To Live. I'll put the list of people who represent the characters in my head up on my profile sooner or later.**

**Also, I listen to more Death Metal, Screamo, and Hard Rock than is healthy for me, amongst other genres, so my stories are violent.**

**Songs for Chapter: Getaway Car by Audioslave, Passenger Seat by Death Cab For Cutie (the chapter's main song), Supermassive Black Hole by Muse.**

**So review, vote for Adam Lambert, you know the drill. I'm going to shut up before I get killed now.**


	3. Chapter 2: Suspicious Behavior

McDonald's workers hate me.

When I walk in, they only pay attention to Alice, who is still exhausted and yawning. They pay no attention to me whatsoever. I roll my eyes. Seafood is so much easier to get. I need to go to the coast again and find more sharks. As aggravated as I am, I don't think it is a good idea to talk to the workers myself, so I hand Alice my wallet, the cell phone tucked in along with the money. She stumbles to the counter and begins rattling off her order. Mumbling to myself about high cholesterol, I walk over to the nearest booth and sit down, studying the Formica patterns.

The workers hand Alice the red and white bag, which from what I can tell consists of three hash browns, an Egg McMuffin, and strawberry milk. This girl really is crazy, especially when she's hungry. I watch in confusion as she sits down next to me and rips open the bag simultaneously, then eats the McMuffin in two bites. Mumbling about crazy pixies, I pick up the white and red bag, which of course causes Alice to leap across the table in an attempt to retrieve it.

"We have a long way to go. No food for now." I order, holding the bag away. The McDonald's guys watch, amused, among other things, but whenever they look at Alice…God, I'm getting annoyed. I give them the finger. One of the guys flips out and the next thing I know, we're on the curb, Alice digging through her food.

"They hate me." I state firmly, crossing my arms.

"Why did you flip them off?" she asks, still eating.

"The one guy looked at me weird." I explain.

"No he didn't."

"Uh-huh!"

"He didn't do anything."

"He blinked."

"Everyone blinks, Jasper."

"Yeah, but he blinked weird."

"He blinked normally."

"No. One eye closed before the other."

"They closed at the same time."

"He still blinked."

"Everyone blinks!"

"I don't bli – no, wait. I blinked."

"And yet they call _me _the crazy one."

Therefore, McDonald's guys hate me. Them and their conspiring selves. They just think they can go around, blinking all weirdly, don't they? I finally stand up and pull Alice to her feet, then walk to the car. Alice continues eating her buffet as I unlock the door. She climbs over the driver's seat and plops down into her own, pulling on the seatbelt while continuing to eat the hash browns. I sit down in my own seat, briefly wondering what all this food tastes like to hers. The McDonald's guys watch as I pull out of the parking lot.

"Conspiratory McDonald's workers, all blinking and crap." I mutter. Alice starts to play with the radio stations.

"…_traffic downtown backed up…"_

"…_what do you think, Bob?…"_

"… _and I'll be your downfall …"_

"…_es un __embotellamiente__ muy mal en el ciudad…"_

"… _for what I've done …"_

"…_were reported missing late yesterday after the death of Dr. M.J. Johannes…"_

"…_gas prices reached new high…"_

"GO BACK!" I shriek, suddenly panicked. Alice jumps and changes the station. Luckily, the report is still playing.

"…has been diagnosed with several mental disorders and was last seen with fiancée Jasper Hale. If either of the two is seen, please call our missing persons hotline, which you can find at our website."

I stare at the radio in shock. They think I'm a kidnapper? Nice…this has Edward's name written all over it. He's going to pay for this.

"…Dr. Johannes was the leading toxicologist at the missing girl's father's hospital, and apparently has many important connections with this case."

At this point I begin hitting the radio, shouting in between punches.

"HE. DOES. NOT. HAVE. ANYTHING. TO. DO. WITH. THIS. DAMN. MESS. SO. WHY. THE. HELL. DO. THEY. FREAKING. SAY SO?!" I hit the radio again, still shouting angrily, and it breaks suddenly. Which of course causes me to hit it again, breaking it more. I continue to hit it, then attack the panel underneath the radio.

Which inevitably leads to the retarded Mazda's breaking down in the middle of nowhere.

Alice starts laughing hysterically and nearly knocks herself unconscious as I pull over using the last of the momentum. I stare out the windshield, face blank.

"Alice?" I ask, with the last of my patience.

"Yeah?" she gasps between laughter.

"Why am I cursed?" I grumble.

"Well, for starters, you're a vampire and you're married to me. You also destroyed our old house because you flipped out when you couldn't solve a Rubix Cube. Maybe it's just the magical Rubix Cube fairy punishing you." Of course this is her response. I sigh. Stupid Rubix Cube. It just has to be _so _hard to solve, doesn't it? The Rubix Cube is clearly a torture device.

"So what do I do?" I ask, frustrated beyond normalcy. We climb out of the car.

"You could start by apologizing to the Rubix Cube fairy." Alice suggests. I stare in shock.

"The Rubix Cube fairy."

"Yeah." As if it's normal.

"You want me to apologize."

"Yep."

"To an inanimate object."

"Yep."

"The Rubix Cube _fairy?" _

"Yes, Jasper. Apologize." And of course she pulls a random Rubix Cube out of nowhere. I take the potential torture device and glare at it.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" Because apologizing to a toy makes so much sense.

"Apologize and beg the Rubix Cube fairy to forgive you." Alice orders. I place the Rubix Cube on the ground and prepare for humiliation.

Thank God Emmett's not here.

"Do I have to?" I ask once more. Alice nods and I groan in exasperation. This has to be the most idiotic thing I have ever done.

"Oh Wise and Colorful Rubix Cube Fairy," I say sarcastically while bowing down, over exaggerating everything. "I am coming to you on…" I pause to look at Alice. "What day is it?' I ask her.

"Monday."

"Monday the…" I turn to Alice again.

"4th of April."

"4th of April, 2011, to beg forgiveness. I apologize for calling you a retarded whore of a torture device and for calling you a faggot. So please, stop trying to kill me and give up before I kill you. Thank you!" I stand like a normal person again and dust off my clothes. Alice stands there, looking dead serious, no pun intended.

"Happy now?" I am ridiculously embarrassed. Alice shakes her head. "Why not?"

"You didn't apologize for calling the Rubix Cube fairy a bitch."

I roll my eyes. "I am not apologizing for the truth." I explain. Why do I have to apologize to an inanimate object? Next thing you know she'll make me apologize to the conspiratory blinking McDonald's guys. Which is worse.

"The Rubix Cube fairy doesn't like being called a bitch."

"Alice, there is no such thing as the Rubix Cube fairy!" I shout. "And if you keep saying otherwise I'll – what was that?" I turn around. "Who's throwing pinecones?" I am really pissed off right now. Why are tiny people so loud and unrelenting when it comes to assigning mythical creatures to inanimate rainbow torture devices?

"Oh, and Jasper?" Alice suddenly says.

"What?"

"The McDonald's guys heard what you said." She points to the two fast-food joint workers, who are standing there laughing and holding a video camera.

Great. So now I've got an insane person – albeit the insane person is my wife – to babysit, numerous incidents I wish had never happened on YouTube, stalker McDonald's guys, membership on a hit list, charges for Grand Theft Auto and Kidnapping, and to top it all off, I'm being stalked by a Rubix Cube! It's great that this all happens to me. But I always thought Edward and Bella should have all the crazy stuff happen to them.

Damn, my life is screwed up.

*~*~*

**A/N: **I'm off of hiatus and I'm going to try to finish this today! For those of you who don't know, I'm a freshman now and I PASSED 8TH GRADE! Anyway, I was trying to multitask writing this and texting my friend Alexa.

Kaley owes me big.

Anyway, the songs for this chapter were What I've Done by Linkin Park, Downfall by Matchbox Twenty, and Breathe by Anna Nalick. I'm not going to put the song lyrics up at the top of the chapters anymore because I have to finish this today or else I'll lose my bet.


	4. Chapter 3: Psychic or Not?

It is 6:02 A.M. and the sun is just at the horizon, painting the sky. Alice and I are at a park, sitting on the swings. The Mazda inexplicably restarted after my public humiliation and I drove here as quickly as I could. The early morning beams of light are beginning to cause me to sparkle. Thankful for my outfit – Converse, jeans, jacket – I let my bangs hide my face as much as possible. The morning air smells sharp and cold, and the only sound is the rusty swings and a few early –morning commuters.

I push off the ground and set the swing in motion. Alice quickly copies me, and we continue this for about 10 minutes until Alice gets tired. I continue to swing higher and higher until suddenly the momentum becomes too much, the swing decides it hates me as well, and goes 90° in the air, causing me to fall from the sudden change in location.

"Holy crap!" I hit the top of the swing set and shout in surprise and anger. The swing set buckles at the sudden force and collapses, taking me and Alice with it.

We sit on the wreckage, me glaring at the bent metal, Alice laughing. I swear, the universe or God or whoever is doing this must really hate me. What did I ever do to deserve any of this? Sure, I did kill a guy 12 hours ago, but I am not a murderer. He was horrifically evil. I'm only slightly evil.

"I don't deserve this!" I shout, glaring at the lightening sky. Alice fake coughs and I realize how bad this will look to the cops: a broken swing set, a guy who is sparkling in the sun, a slightly insane girl wearing a sand-covered white dress and who happens to be on the Missing Persons list, and of course the vampire-shaped dent in the debris.

"C'mon." I stand up and brush all the sand off, then storm to the car. Alice remains a persistent shadow.

The Mazda is about a half-mile away when I hear the sirens. I groan. This is not helping! I pull over and put the hood of my jacket back on. The officer taps on my window and I slowly roll it down.

"Yes, officer?" I don't like being polite when cops are suspicious.

"Sir, I'm Officer Larson with the Astoria Police Department, and we noticed you were driving a car which was reported stolen yesterday. I'm gonna need to see some ID."

Nervous, I search my pockets, and of course, I find… nothing. I sigh, exasperated.

"Alice, where's my wallet?" I ask, still searching my pockets. She shrugs.

"You had it at McDonald's, didn't you?" she asks.

"I gave it to you so you could buy food!" Where is that wallet?

"I gave it back to you!"

"No, you kept it."

"In that case, I think it's still at the restaurant."

"Alice!" I whine. How could she forget that?

"What? I'm sure you'll get it back.'

"That had $250 in it!"

"And now some hobo has $250."

"Along with my license, credit cards, and motorcycle insurance!"

"Oops."

"Alice, how could you lose my wallet?!"

"Calm down. Just call Esme and she can explain," she begins looking pointedly at the officer and speaking between gritted teeth, "to this very nice officer that you lost your ID and that you didn't steal her car."

"Alice!"

"My cell phone was in my wallet!"

"But how…? Never mind."

What did I ever do to even deserve this? The cop looks exasperated.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle." The cop says. I am in mild shock, I think.

"But…this is my – you can't – but – what gives you the right to – how – but-" he opens the car door and pulls me out by my jacket. "You have no right to do this!" I shout as he handcuffs me. "It's my car."

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney present during questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand these rights?"

"Yes, dammit! I didn't do anything wrong!" This is not fair!

"THIS IS NOT FAIR! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" He pushes me into the patrol car. "I want a lawyer!" The cop winks at Alice, who is standing next to the open door of the Mazda, snickering and looking very entertained.

"This is injustice!" I shout at the cop. "I plead the 5th!" The cop slams my door and gets into the driver's seat.

"Shut up." He says as he turns the car on. We drive past Alice, who mouths 'I'll call Esme' then gets into the Mazda, does a U-turn, and drives away.

*~*~*

"_Hello?" _Esme's voice crackles over the phone. I am highly aware of the security guard standing nearby.

"Hi mom! Guess where I am?" I say, cheerily sarcastic.

"_Jasper, what did you do?"_

"Funny story. I really don't know. But can you come get me?

"_Where are you?"_

"The police station. In Astoria."

"_Okay. I'll be there in 30 minutes."_

"Thanks!"

"_Jasper got arrested?" _I hear Emmett say in the background, followed by hysterical laughter.

"_Lemme talk to him." _I hear Renesmee say. The phone clatters as it changes hands. "_Jasper?"_

"Hi."

"_What the hell did you do?"_

"Alice kind of lost my wallet. Hey, can you and Jacob come here and ask the local homeless people if they've seen my wallet."

"_Sure." _She laughs, somewhat sarcastically. _"See ya."_

"Bye." I hang up the phone and the guard leads me back to my cell.

This would all be easier if Alice could still see the future.

Maybe she still can.

Just maybe…

*~*~*

**A/N: **My day so far: writing, talking to 3 different people via Facebook and texting, and putting up with my sick brother. Anyway, songs: Riot by Three Days Grace, If Everyone Cared by Nickelback, and Sorrow by Flyleaf. And I'm only talking to 3 people because Kayla and Kaitlin are freaking out that I broke up with my boyfriend and Alexa's telling me to write.


	5. Chapter 4: Disappearances

Esme is mad at me.

I have explained a million times that this is all some Rubix Cube- based conspiracy theory against me, but apparently this is all my fault.

"So can I get a new cell phone?" I ask. Esme mutters to herself incomprehensibly. I shrug. "Guess that's a no." I really am not having fun right now.

I watch all the trees zoom by, wondering where everyone else could be. Probably just sitting there, bored. She is still muttering to herself.

"Hey, did Alice ever call you? She said she would." I suddenly remember. She stops muttering, confused. Why do I have a feeling that she never got the phone call? And Alice has the Mazda…

"No, she never called. Was she supposed to?" She's worried, but she has a right to be.

In that second I panic.

"I have to go back and get her." I say, unbuckling my seat belt. "She has no idea where she is. She'll get lost." I unlock the car door, open it, and jump into the street, doing somersaults, and land next to the guardrail which, in my new, James Bond style, I leap over.

Right into the Columbia River.

"Oh God that's freaking cold!" I sputter when I resurface. Something I've learned – I can't swim well, I look around for witnesses, but I'm already downstream quite a ways. And of course, I have to swim _upstream _because the trees are so close together on the banks that I wouldn't be able to get through them unless I turned into a battering ram. The weather, of course, is sunny today, so I can't be on land even if I wanted to. As fast as I can, I turn and swim upstream, which of course is stupidly hard. A quarter mile upstream, I stop.

"Aw, screw this. Running's easier." With that, I swim to the shore and begin running as fast as I can, my wet clothes not helping matters. But I can still reach speeds that could put a Lamborghini to shame – not that I've tested that theory or anything.

So in my James-Bond-Lamborghini like soaking wet ways, I reach Astoria in half an hour. I hide behind one of the trees, feeling strangely like a spy, and listen for something that isn't audible to other people, trying to detect scents that aren't there… southwest, half a mile miles, with the Mazda. Careful to stay in the shadows, I run towards the direction of the scent/sound, hoping that there are no cops. Geez, I feel like a bloodhound, but then again…

I reach the area in about 30 seconds, but Alice is nowhere to be found. Of course.

"Dammit!" I shout, kicking the nearest lamp post. Where is that ninja pixie. Humans aren't that fast! Where could she be.

The McDonald's parking lot is empty.

Completely empty.

At least until I spot the cause of all this.

Sitting next to the door, completely casual, as if nothing has happened.

A $250, black leather, Emporio Armani wallet.

My $250 Emporio Armani wallet.

"This is getting ridiculous. Why am I cursed so much? The stupid wallet and the stupid Rubix Cube and the stupid sociopath and the stupid YouTube videos! It's a freaking conspiracy theory!" I shout as I walk over to my wallet. It says nothing as I pick it up to yell at it.

"You know what, Mr. Armani Wallet? You got me arrested. What do you say about that, huh?" I am beyond aggravated. I really want to hurt someone. The wallet says nothing. But it's still sitting there as if I'm insane.

"Oh yeah? Go ahead. Say nothing. But you know what? You could have at least been nice and paid for my bail." Still more silence.

"Yes, you. Instead of sitting here on the sidewalk, you could have saved me a lot of stress. Got that, Mr. Armani Wallet?" I shout.

Then I hear laughter. Why am I cursed?

"Emmett, Renesmee, and Jacob. Put the camera down." I say, still glaring at the wallet. I hear the sound of the camera being turned off and being placed on the ground. Slowly I turn around and walk towards the three, who back away.

I hope the camera isn't expensive. I carefully pick it up. It sure _looks _expensive. Too bad. I drop-kick it as far as I can towards the river. It hits the water hard and creates a very large wave. Breathing heavily, I turn to look back at my brother, niece, and guard dog.

"You three. Go. Now." I point at the jeep. They actually look afraid then walk away as if punished. I have no time for games.

*~*~*

I can't find her. She's nowhere to be found. Wandering aimlessly. I can't help but watch the other people, to hear their conversations. Slices of life, random words.

"…I'm Kate and I'll be your waitress today.."

"…Because I'm the manager of the auto shop! Don't you see the sign that says _Sarah…?"_

"…Kaley, what did you do?"

"…I swear, Gabby, I didn't blow up the microwave on purpose…"

"…congratulations, Nicolette, you've gotten the job. You can start working here tomorrow. Not many people want to be forensic anthropologists…"

"…Great job at the tennis tournament, Alexa…"

"Thanks!"

It's strange how important names are, how often they show up in our conversations. You can't last long if you don't know the names of people. I never pay much attention to them, but now, listening for one voice. One name.

Alice… she's nowhere.

I can't lose her now. I won't. Soon, I'll find her and make her safe. But for now, the endless search.

I spot something on the sidewalk and quickly reach down to pick it up. Once I see what it is, I choke with nonexistent tears. The white leather, worn and soft with age, the glowing white moonstone ringed with turquoise and diamonds. Tiny amethysts braided with the leather. I'm surprised nobody stole this, but I'm glad they didn't. I clutch the necklace to my chest like a talisman against anger. My only link to her.

50 years ago, this necklace was what I used as a ring in a small wedding in Louisiana. Still perfect, after all this time. And for some reason I feel like I have to guard this necklace with my life. I gently put the gemstone-adorned pendant in the pocket of my jeans. It's the only piece of jewelry she has ever kept. The only thing I ever gave to her.

Alice's necklace.

I can't cry.

*~*~*

**A/N: **3 hours straight of typing/texting. Songs: Until I Fall Away by Gin Blossoms, Disarm by The Smashing Pumpkins, and Won't Go Home Without You by Maroon 5.


	6. Author's Note

**A/N: To readers of Paradise Lost.**

**Due to events beyond my control, I am no longer going to be able to continue this.**

**The notebook in which I had the entire story written down was lost in a cross-country move – not my moving, but my best friend moving to Ohio. As you know, the story was dedicated to her, and I gave her the notebook so that she could read the completed story.**

**I'm not sure what exactly happened, but sometime when she was moving, or when she was mailing the notebook back, it got lost in transit, rendering me incapable of finishing the story because it contained every bit of information regarding that story.**

**Much like how I feel like a douchebag for not being able to finish any of my other stories due to my parents taking away my internet connection and every electronic device I had in my posession, I feel like a douchebag for losing the fucking notebook. One that I kept closely guarded for two years, nonetheless.**

**I am so freaking sorry that I can't finish this. If that notebook ever resurfaces, maybe I'll be able to, but for now, it's somewhere in Ohio and I can't go there anytime within the next three years.**

**Sorry.**

**~Sarah**


End file.
